


Center Me

by mattzerella_sticks



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Antagonistic Buck, Antagonistic Shannon, Buck and Christopher get along so well, Caretaker Eddie, Confused Eddie, Cuddly Buck, Eddie doesn't understand feelings, F/M, Hercules - Freeform, M/M, Mario Party - Freeform, Nintendo Switch - Freeform, Post-Episode: s02e13 Fight or Flight, Shannon knows how Buck feels about Eddie, Sharing Clothes, Soft Buck, Texting, Tired Buck, this is a pre-relationship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 02:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18273842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattzerella_sticks/pseuds/mattzerella_sticks
Summary: Buck hadn't rested the entire time Maddie was missing. But now that she's safe and resting in a hospital, he can wind down. Will he though? Or does he need someone to push him into getting the rest he needs.Eddie thinks helping Buck relax shouldn't be too hard. And it isn't... because that part of his day is easy. It's figuring out what's going on with him that makes everything difficult.





	Center Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for clicking on my first fic for 9-1-1, about the two people who got me interested in watching the show in the first place - Eddie and Buck!
> 
> I must say, I've been wanting to write a fic for this couple for SO LONG (like ever since i finished bingeing the first season and half the second season), but coming up with an idea was SO HARD. Hopefully it's easier in the future lol.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

            Eddie watches Buck from down the hall, Bobby doing the same next to him. Buck stands slumped on the wall across from the open door, staring into it. He knows what his friend looks at, already gotten a glimpse of Maddie laid out on the hospital bed. Bruised and unconscious, hooked up to ten different machines that whirred, beeped, and buzzed at different intervals. She seemed fragile in the white sterility of that room, a reversal from how they found her. Eddie overheard Athena telling Bobby what it was like; describing Maddie’s strength and will to live reminded him of a few friends he made overseas. He understood that tenacity, the struggle to push through so you can wake up the next morning and spit on whoever tried to take that possibility away. Maddie will see the sun rise another day.

            But Buck will fall over any second, having stood guard roughly six hours with no break and nothing to eat or drink. The adrenaline has run out, and he powers through on dregs alone. That’ll barely carry him through the next hour.

            “Eddie,” Bobby says, breaking the silence, “I need you to do something for me.”

            He glances at his chief, frowning in confusion. “What is it?”

            “I want you to look after Eddie.”

            The feeling did not abate after Bobby’s request was made known. Instead, it only added to it. “I… don’t understand –“

            “Buck’s not in a good place right now.”

            “I can _see_ that.”

            “He needs someone looking after him right now.”

            “And you think I… you think it should be me?”

            Bobby turns to him, smiling. His hand creeps up to rest on his shoulder, squeezing in that familiar, fatherly warmth he radiates constantly. “You’re exactly what he needs right now. You and Buck share something different than the rest of us… if you were to tell him something he’d _listen_. It wouldn’t come off as lecturing or pitying – not to him.”

            “I don’t know,” Eddie sighs, “Buck loves being _stubborn_.”

            “And you’re afraid of a challenge?”

            Eddie isn’t, but he doesn’t express his true concerns either. That he’s afraid he might say or do something that’ll further injure Buck. Sensitivity and emotional intelligence are Eddie’s weaknesses. It’s why he was separated from his wife for quite some time. When things turned sour, Eddie became frustrated and preferred running away to struggling through fixing the problems. Stick him in the desert and tell him to get back to base he’ll have to navigate through a mile of bombs buried under the sand, and he’ll do it without disturbing a single one. In a social situation, it’s a completely different story.

            But Eddie isn’t the same man he was. Moving to California, joining Station 118, befriending the others – Buck especially – inspired growth within him. Now his wife and he were on good terms with each other. His son had his mom back. If Eddie tripped over triggers, he would handle the fallout instead of running away. With renewed confidence, Eddie agrees to watch over Buck.

            “Good,” Bobby says, releasing his shoulder, “Buck’s off for the week, but I’m giving you today and tomorrow. I’m already down two men, I can’t lose another.”

            “Thanks, Bobby.”

            “And call if you need anything…” he says, “We want to be there as well, any way we can.”

            Eddie nods, waiting for the other man to leave before releasing the tense breath he held. Returning his attention to Buck, Eddie notices how repeatedly his head droops to his chest. His back starts sliding down, knees buckling. Springing into action, Eddie races over and catches Buck before he falls over.

            “Huh, what –“

            “Buck, Christ, try and stand – come on now.” Without his friend’s help, Eddie props him back onto the wall. However Buck now leans most of his weight on Eddie. “You can’t do this to yourself…”

            “Need to be here…” Buck mumbles into his shirt, “For Maddie… Chim…”

            “You’ve done so much for them already, Buck,” Eddie says, hand rubbing comfortably up and down his back. He leans into his touch. “They wouldn’t want you to hurting like this, for them… they’re plenty hurt as it is.” Eddie regrets the joke the second it leaves his mouth; thankfully glad Buck ignored him in favor of drooling on his shirt. “Yeah, we’re leaving…”

            Resting Buck’s weight more comfortably on his shoulders, Eddie takes one last look at Maddie. He blinks, unsure if her head turned as if listening to them or if it lolled to the side on its own. Although accepting the latter, he whispers softly to her unconscious body. “I’ll keep him safe.”

            Halfway through the hospital, Buck stirs enough to realize he isn’t in front of Maddie’s door any longer. “Where…” he asks, “Where are we going?”

            “You need to rest.”

            “Need to look after Maddie…”

            “Can’t do that if you’re in your own hospital room from dehydration, malnutrition, hitting your head –“

            “Don’t wanna –“

            “Buck,” Eddie sighs, still carrying the struggling man towards the exit, “it’s for your own good –“

            “Don’t wanna go to Chim’s.” His muttered plea stops Eddie, glancing down at Buck’s shuddering expression. “Or Maddie’s. Not while they’re… it’d be…”

            Eddie’s heart warbles out a sad beat for his friend. “I’m not taking you where you don’t want to be,” he says, “But you also can’t stay here.”

            “…Then where are we going?”

            “We’re going home.” Buck stills, but Eddie still has a difficult time leading him out into the parking lot and over to his own car. He slumps over, legs fully dragging across the asphalt. If Eddie weren’t a fireman he’s sure Buck would have made the dirty parking lot his bed. Even with his training getting Buck into his car was Herculean. He couldn’t decide which was more distracting, the weight of Buck’s body or the warm line of heat it presses into Eddie’s side. After shutting the door, Buck strapped in safe, Eddie leans against the car roof panting. “You’d think he swiped some of the morphine for himself…”

            It’s a short drive over from the hospital to his house, Buck already snoring softly against the window. At a red light, Eddie sneaks his phone out to snag a picture or two of the other man. Seeing him asleep, he understands why their station didn’t have a Dalmatian. Buck drools enough to be considered a dog. Turning down his street, Eddie huffs a laugh.

            Getting Buck into his house proves easier than he thought. Eddie opens the passenger door carefully, catching Buck before he dangles out the opening. Leaning into the car, Eddie unbuckles his friend. The rush of the seat belt over his body startles Buck awake. “What – where are…”

            “We’re at my house, Buck,” Eddie says. He gives him some distance, smiling as Buck’s eyes slowly blink into focus. “Remember? I helped you out of the hospital?”

            “No, I have to go back,” Buck grumbles, swiping at his spit-covered lips, “Maddie could wake up at any second –“

            “She’s not,” he tells him, “She’s resting, after the last couple of days she deserves it. Her and Chim… You need to get some, too.”

            “But –“

            “What if she did wake up, Buck?” Eddie asks, “You’d be in no condition to greet her. In fact, she’d probably be more worried for _you_.”

            Eddie knows that broke through to him. He sees the cogs slowly turning in Buck’s head, processing his words. “Do I,” he tries to smirk, “Do I really look that bad?”

            He chuckles. “I don’t think that’s possible… but sleep wouldn’t _hurt_.”

            Marking the end of the conversation, Eddie stands and helps Buck out of the car. The other man won’t look at him, which he understands. Buck’s focus stays on his feet, making sure he doesn’t stumble on his way from the car to the front door. One time after a grueling shift, Eddie was taken down by a forgotten basketball Christopher hadn’t put away the day before. It was an interesting bruise to explain.

            “Sorry for the mess,” Eddie prefaces, turning the lights on, “You know we weren’t expecting any company.” The early morning light streams in from the open window, but the overhead lamp helps them see better, a supplement to the natural source. Eddie scans the room, grateful that at least Christopher’s toys were in manageable piles. Shannon texted him the night before, about their son pulling so much out of his room in one huge adventure story. It kept him sane through the night shift before he drove over to the hospital to check on his friends.

            “Hey,” Buck starts, breaking the silence, “I’m not… intruding or anything, am I?”

            “What?”

            “Because you don’t have to do this, really –“

            “No, no Buck it’s – it’s fine,” Eddie says, “Really. I was just kidding… besides, Shannon and Christopher are okay with having you stay here, for however long you need us.” He hadn’t actually asked. Christopher loves Buck, Eddie already imagining the two playing together in the living room. Shannon might be another story.

            Buck and her haven’t gotten along well in the few times they’ve met. Eddie doesn’t understand where the hostility comes from, it simmering under the surface of every interaction. He assumed Buck was a bit overprotective, his routine at the hospital another piece of evidence supporting this theory. Buck probably doesn’t want Eddie to hurt again because of Shannon. Except she isn’t leaving, she promised. And Eddie believes her. Maybe having Buck over will help bridge the gap between them.

            “Come on,” Eddie tugs Buck along as he guides him over to his room, “you need to get some more shut eye.” Closing the door behind them, Eddie digs around for a spare set of sweats. When Eddie finds a pair, he tosses them at Buck. They fall to the floor, Buck too distracted to catch them. He stares wide-eyed at the mussed up sheets. “Is there a problem?” Eddie asks.

            Buck hums, cheeks flushed. Eddie raises a brow, worried there might be more than just tiredness messing with his friend. “Are you sure,” Buck asks, “I mean… this is too much. I can do just fine with the sofa…”

            “Nonsense,” Eddie says, waving him off, “The sofa’s a bit lumpy. Plus, it smells like _ass_.” That draws a small giggle from the other man, making Eddie’s own smile grow larger. “Besides, at least in here you won’t be disturbed by all the cleaning I’m gonna be doing.”

            Buck bites at his lip, gaze darting between the bed and Eddie. Finally, he sucks in a sharp breath between his teeth and agrees to sleep in the bed.

            “Great,” Eddie says, clapping him on the shoulder, “Leave your clothes anywhere, I’ll sneak in and grab the laundry bag once I’m sure you’re knocked out.”

            Leaving Buck to rest, Eddie moves doing his housework. First, he returns all of Christopher’s toys to his room. He doesn’t put them back, exactly, leaving that for his son when he comes home from school. If Christopher wants to play he should know it comes with the unspoken vow of cleaning up when done. Next, Eddie tackles the dishes soaking in the sink. He promised Shannon he’d do them last night, but Buck’s tagalong trip with Athena left an open shift that needed to be filled. When the last plate dries on the rack beside him, Eddie starts brewing a pot of coffee for himself. While the drink percolates he does a cursory check of his cabinets and fridge, tossing out a few expired yogurts and a moldy cantaloupe. The coffee finishes, and Eddie adds a splash of milk and two spoonfuls of sugar.

            “Nothing beats the homemade stuff…”

            Coffee makes the work go faster. He puts the drying china away and heads into the living room to vacuum. Growing up, whenever a guest would come over his family would make sure nothing was even a fraction out of place or less than pristine. When Buck stepped through the threshold, he’s sure his family sensed his less than perfect living conditions and sent a prayer up to correct his deviant ways. “Making up for it now…” he mutters, wiping away the sweat from his brow.

            Confident Buck would be asleep by now Eddie decides to do laundry. Tiptoeing over to his door, Eddie slowly opens it a crack. “Buck?” he whispers, poking his head in, “you good?” The lump on his bed doesn’t stir save for the slow rise-and-fall of Buck’s chest. Eddie grins, “Perfect.”

            Buck left his pants, socks, and shirt folded at the foot of his bed. He swipes them up and dumps them on his overflowing laundry basket. Hefting it into his arms, he carries it halfway through the room before glancing at Buck’s sleeping figure. Eddie nearly drops the basket. Stopping, he places it down and stares at his friend.

            Buck sleeps with his arms wrapped around his pillow, nose pressed tight against it. His blanket pools around his lap and reveals the taut lines of his pale muscles. Eddie knew they existed; Buck not only his friend but also his gym partner. Under the incandescent sunlight, it’s much more obvious how strong Buck is. But that’s not what draws him in. The contrast of his tough body and the soft, adorable pose he chose to lay in his bed in causes a flutter to rise in Eddie’s chest. It’s like ogling at a centerfold of some G-rated magazine. He considers taking a photo of this as well before brushing the thought aside. It’d be different than the ones he took in the car, the energy much more charged.

            Shaking free from his daze, Eddie picks the laundry basket back up and carries it over to the washing machine.

            He doesn’t return to his room the rest of the time Buck sleeps. 

* * *

            Eddie tells Christopher that Buck is in their house at the last possible second after picking him up from school. He debated on waking the other man; ask him to come along, but decided against it. If Buck were to get back into his car there’d be only one destination on his mind. Besides, his clothes were still drying, so he’d have nothing to wear. Pointedly ignoring the final reason, that he was afraid to see Buck sleeping again, Eddie was glad to see Christopher rushing over to him. His son was a welcome distraction, talking about his day and answering any question he asked. Until they reached their driveway, and Eddie was again forced to confront the Buck issue.

            “So, Christopher,” he starts, fiddling with his key fob, “just so you’re not surprised, we have a… guest, in our house.”

            “Who is it?”

            “Well it’s uh… it’s Buck.”

            Christopher grins. “Oh… I thought it was someone bad… from how you talked about it. I like Buck.”

            An awkward giggle slips past Eddie’s lips before he could stop it. “Yeah, me too. I just… I didn’t know how to explain it. You remember what I told you was going on?” He didn’t give his son the full details, a cursory explanation best before he left to cover Buck’s shift. All Eddie said was a bad man did some terrible thing to his friends, and Buck was feeling really awful about it. Christopher nods, remembering. “Well, right now Buck isn’t at his best to take care of himself… so we’re going to keep an eye on him. You think you can do that?”

            Christopher chirps in agreement. “We can play games… Whenever I feel sad, playing makes me feel… better!”

            Eddie mimics his son’s smile. “I think Buck would like that, although who knows if he’ll be awake when we get inside. He was very tired when I brought him home.”

            Buck greets them when they walk through the door. All Eddie sees is his head, body hidden by the couch. He offers a half grin and a small wave before Christopher shouts his name and makes his way over. Eddie follows, getting a full glimpse of his friend. He still wears Eddie’s sweatpants, but has now covered his torso with a stolen sweatshirt. One of his favorites, fabric worn thin around the cuffs and neck, bright red dimmed from near constant washing. That strange feeling from earlier returns, like an out of control hose gushing in his stomach. He searches for the shut-off valve.

            “Feeling better?”

            “Yeah,” Buck nods, gesturing to his own cup of coffee, “Sleep was good but this is picking me back up faster. Sorry for, ah… digging around.”

            Eddie shrugs. “You’re my guest. Whatever helps make you comfortable.”

            Buck nods, letting the threads of their conversation hang loose as Christopher draws his attention away. And like always, Buck listens attentively to whatever his son has to say. When Eddie first introduced Christopher to the station, he was worried. Nine times out of ten, people would walk on eggshells around him. When he wasn’t looking, give him pitying stares – if they were kind. A few wore those expressions even when Christopher gave notice. None of that happened at Station 118. Actually, it was Buck who took to his son almost immediately after they walked in. Stealing him away from Eddie and making the rounds, carrying him around on his shoulders despite giggling protests and giving him his helmet to wear.

            He treats his son like any other kid, and he did it without prompting. Eddie knew Buck was a good man, but after that day he saw him as perfect. Only the warmth that followed watching Buck and Christopher talk is unwelcome today, as it’s a more powerful version of the strange feeling from earlier.

            Clearing his throat, Eddie pulls focus to him. “I’m going to make some snacks, and then I need to run to the store and pick up a few things for dinner.” He doesn’t have to. There’s enough in his kitchen to whip together a small meal. However Eddie wants to impress Buck, and needs some space to understand why he wants that. “I won’t be gone for too long, but in the meantime…” he smirks at his son, “Christopher, you’re in charge.”

            That earns both a righteous shout and a wounded cry. Buck plays up the betrayal, twisting his fist into his chest. “Really?” Buck asks, voice carrying into the kitchen as Eddie prepares a bowl of chips, “Flesh and blood over fire and sweat? How can you trust me to carry you out of a burning building but not to play house for an hour or two?” Eddie rolls his eyes, peeling an apple and cutting it into bits.

            Carrying the two snacks out on a tray, he places them on the coffee table. Christopher left, most likely in his room getting his toys together. “I trust you,” Eddie whispers to him, “But I figured being in ‘charge’ would only add to your stress. And who knows, you might like what Christopher makes you do. Give up control for a little bit, see how it goes.”

            Buck flushes, the skin around his cheeks and neck almost as red as his birthmarks. Eddie raises a brow at the sight. He almost asks Buck if he’s okay until Christopher returns, Switch underarm. Eddie steps away from the other man, heading towards the door.

            “So like I said, Christopher’s in charge. Buck, do whatever he says or you won’t be getting any dessert.” He pauses before adding, “Unless it’s giving him dessert early, than none of you are getting any.”

            With that said, Eddie once again gets into his car. 

* * *

            He spent longer than necessary in the supermarket: rolling the cart through each aisle slowly, comparing products and going through recipes in his head. There was also time spent goofing off. Dawdling nearby the snacks, picking up bags of candy only to put them back after glancing at the label with nutritional facts. Eddie also texted Hen and Bobby, filling them in on Buck’s wellbeing and showing them the car picture.

            Hen responded like he knew she would, with emoji after emoji laughing at the candid. Interspersed with the wide grins and tears, were tiny faces of dogs and ‘the three z’s’. Bobby’s texts were tamer, updating him on both Chim and Maddie’s conditions. They hadn’t changed since last they visited, although Chim was expected to regain consciousness later in the evening. The next morning, however, might see them both waking up.

            Those weren’t the only texts he received. On his way to the checkout lane, Athena thanked him for taking the pictures and for watching Buck. He responded in kind, saying it wasn’t a big deal and he’s always glad to spend time with him. Even if his stomach churned more than a boat out on a stormy night, and his mind cluttered faster than Garbage Island.

            Shannon messaged him as well, asking what was for dinner. He told her steaks and mixed vegetables as a side. She wondered what made tonight so special, and Eddie said that he wants to cook something nice. That’s all he said about that.

            When he walks back into his house, groceries layered across his arms, Buck and Christopher have made themselves comfortable. Stretched out on the couch, swathed in a quilt he remembers storing weeks ago in the nearby closet. They’re playing with action figures, Buck making the Flash run circles around Christopher’s Batman. Too involved in the story, they barely notice Eddie step closer.

            “You’ve got to be faster than that Batman,” Buck chuckles, “Or do you like the taste of my dust?”

            “Might be… faster,” Christopher says, Batman’s arms twitching under his movements, “But I’m… _quicker_. Trip line!” At his words, Buck sends the Flash spiraling into the blanket-like desert below, both of them laughing at the scene. Eddie makes his presence known by joining in, chuckling.

            Christopher spots him first, giggling. “Daddy! How long... have you been there?”

            “Long enough to see the epic finale,” Eddie says, stepping further into the room, “A real shame… have you two been playing for long?”

            “Naw,” Buck says, rubbing at his neck, “Maybe a half hour or more… played some Mario Party but stopped after one game –“

            “Cause I was too good…” Christopher adds, “Beat him…”

            “Yeah, yeah…” Eddie laughs again, now at Buck’s faux disgruntlement. Buck scoffs, “I’d like to see you try. These controllers weren’t made for _adult_ hands.” He flexes his fingers wide as if to demonstrate the size.

            Eddie rolls his eyes at the display. “No thank you, I have dinner to prepare. Why don’t you and Christopher watch a movie or something?”

            “Daddy!” Christopher cries, leaning over Buck to talk to him, “Don’t you want to watch something with us?”

            Eddie frowns, doing the time in his head. He could manage one movie, especially if it’s a children’s movie. Still, he sits on the fence unsure whether to do so. Buck notices and draws him out of his thoughts. “Hey,” Eddie says, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

            “Well…”

            “Please daddy?”

            “Yeah, please… _daddy_?”

            The word sounds wrong coming from Buck, it sending a fierce shiver up his spine. Eddie nearly drops the one bag he carried in by the bottom instead of its straps. Adjusting himself, he spins to hide his blush. “Okay. Christopher, you can pick something out while I put stuff away and get the ingredients set up.” He enters the kitchen without waiting for a response.

            Groceries take a lot longer to put away when Eddie needs his pulse to stop jackhammering at suspicious levels. Listening to the other two bickering slightly from the next room helps distract his foggy mind. Allows him to slip into a fugue state where his body places things down without thought. Unfortunately, because of this, he doesn’t hear the living room quiet or Buck’s approach. Then a hand taps at his back, and Eddie slams his head up into the open fridge.

            “What the fu – fudge…”

            He whips around to find a contrite looking Buck, hand hovering close to where he touched him. “Sorry,” Buck says, “I was calling you but you were too in the… grocery groove?”

            Eddie bites back another curse, swallowing down past the embarrassment. “Sorry, it gets boring so you gotta…”

            “I understand…”

            A long beat passes where they do nothing but stare at each other, Eddie still like a statue and Buck fidgeting, glancing every which way. Eddie breaks the silence. “So what do you need?”

            “Hmm? Oh!” Buck holds his phone up, glowering, “I was wondering if you got a charger. My phone ran out of battery awhile ago… figured I should at least have it handy in case, uh…”

            Eddie smiles, taking the phone from him. “Bobby told me she shouldn’t be waking up until tomorrow. Chim’s a different story, but his folks’ll be there to catch him up to speed.”

            “Right…”

            Eddie can tell Buck is slipping back into worry, so he grabs him before he can fully slide down that slope. “Hey, what kind of phone you got?”

            “7S?”

            “I think Shannon has an extra charger lying around here somewhere…” It takes a couple seconds of digging before he’s successful. He plugs it in for Buck, planning on heading into the living room. Bumping into Buck, who stayed throughout it all, was not part of that plan. Eddie nearly fell from the collision, but Buck steadies him with hands at his waist. Blinking, his vision adjusts to the closeness of his friend’s face; bringing his details into better clarity.

            A giggle bursts from beneath his pounding heart, Eddie’s hands coming up to rest on Buck’s chest to push away. “I should watch where I’m going…”

            His jaw hangs in the air, as if Eddie’s misstep broke apart the reason he stayed behind. Shaking his head, Buck puts even more distance between them before speaking. “Are… are you doing okay?”

            Eddie frowns. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

            “No, I mean yes, I mean…” Buck sighs, rubbing his hands up and down his thighs, “I know you didn’t sign up to be a babysitter… if I’m – uh, I’m crossing some boundaries let me know. I can call a cab or something.”

            Buck tries to leave, but Eddie grabs his wrist. “Buck,” he starts, “everything is fine. I didn’t sign up for anything that I didn’t _want_. You’re my _friend_ , and I care if something happens to you. I want to make you feel better, I’m just, uh… just a little lost on how to do that.”

            His pleas are returned with a grateful smile, Buck wiping away the shadows from his features. “Thanks,” he says, “Honestly what you’re doing now… it’s helping.”

            “Good to know.”

            “Well, that was a lot,” Buck admits, smirking, “We should get started on that movie, otherwise we’ll be having a late dinner.”

            “Yeah… get it going, I’ll be there in a sec.” With one last squeeze, Eddie lets Buck free from his grasp. Buck walks back over to Christopher, grabbing the remote and pressing play. Eddie bites his lip, tearing his gaze away to hide within the refrigerator one final moment.

            He meant what he said. Eddie left a few things out, however. That he wasn’t so much lost as when it came to helping, but more on what his actions stir inside him. What Buck’s presence does to him, the focus he loses, and the heat, which rises. It’d be too much to put onto his plate now, after all that happened. So Eddie pushes it down, compartmentalizes, focusing on Buck’s needs before his. It’s how he got others through to the next day, how he helped them survive.

            Eddie walks in as the opening credits finish. The familiar notes play off and bring a smile to his face. He takes the space next to Christopher on the right side of the couch, tugging the quilt over his lap. “Hercules?”

            “Did you know your kid’s never seen Hercules?” Buck asks, ruffling Christopher’s hair despite heavy protest.

            He shrugs his shoulders, “A mistake I’m sure.” Eddie regards the screen carefully; smile barely hinting at his lips. “Don’t know why,” he says, “Hercules was always my favorite movie.”

            “…Mine, too.”

            For the umpteenth time today Eddie and Buck lock eyes. It’s the quickest stare down yet, both cowering at the sight of one another.

            When Hercules leaves home, Eddie feels himself relax once more. Christopher leans against his side, pressing against it every few seconds. He lifts his arm up, giving his son access to the space he wanted. With nowhere else to put it, Eddie drapes his arm down the length of the couch.

            A solid weight pushes his hand flat against the back, a quick glance revealing the foreign touch coming from Buck’s head. It rests there, lightly, as if a twitch would have him moving it away.

            Eddie lets Buck rest his head there until he absolutely needs to start dinner. 

* * *

            Shannon isn’t pleased, which made dinner as tense a battlefield like the ones he faced in Afghanistan.

            Buck sensed the hostility as well, but keeps his charm dialed up. Eddie knows him well enough, though, to detect the forced cheeriness infecting his tone. He wishes he could have warned him, told him that Shannon’s ire wasn’t directed at him but at Eddie.

            Because Eddie forgot to tell her Buck was staying the night. And by forgot, Eddie means he purposefully didn’t tell her. Buck isn’t a dirty secret, but Shannon thought so. At least, that’s how it felt when she confronted him about it.

            He knew he was screwed when he heard Shannon say, “Buck? How nice it is to see you…” Luckily, the steaks still had time to cook and the vegetables were cooling on the table. Eddie listened as his wife and friend exchanged pleasantries, tossing his oven mitts and apron onto the counter.

            “Hey Shannon,” he greeted her, walking over and kissing her on the lips. She didn’t return it like usual, the embrace lacking the passion they so normally shared. Her eyes spoke volumes though. Eddie couldn’t answer her with an audience. Luckily she understood him as well as he did her.

            “Dinner cooking?” she asked, lips pulled tight in a grimace.

            He nodded. “Should be done, soon.”

            “Good, I’m going to get changed,” she said, “Eddie, can you come help me with my dress?”

            “Sure.” He turned to the others, “Can you guys set the table? Christopher will show you where everything is.” Eddie didn’t wait for a response, following his wife into their room and closing the door behind him. Shannon already her dress zipped down.

            They fought in hushed whispers about Buck’s situation. “I don’t want to be the bad guy here,” she said, “I know what happened was crazy, but why did you have to say yes?”

            “Because he needed me,” Eddie told her, “Bobby said I was the only one who he’d listen to.”

            “Do you think maybe he said that because he didn’t want to be stuck with him?” She winces at Eddie’s glower. “Look, Buck’s a nice guy… I just wish you told me he was here. I’d have understood if I had a little time to prepare.”

            “I know,” he says, “I’m sorry I didn’t… I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Today’s been crazy…”

            Shannon smiled, then, wrapping her arms loosely round his shoulders. Her weight under hand was familiar and pleasant, a different heat from earlier interactions with another person. “You’re a good person, doing this.” She kissed him softly, a peck held out until one of them pulled away. It was Buck who did.

            She tried during dinner, but communication quickly fell apart. Eddie felt like he was Cuba, stuck between America and the Soviets, sifting through the awkwardness to try and piece together a nice meal. Christopher was a huge help, no one wanting to do or say anything that would turn his wide smile upside down. He did most of the talking, regaling Shannon with what she missed and how amazing Buck is to play with.

            “That’s good to hear,” Shannon said, glancing across the table at Buck, “Maybe he wouldn’t mind babysitting one night?”

            Buck chuckled, “Of course not. Maybe next time I’ll be able to beat the tough guy here at Mario Party.” Christopher preened under the spotlight.

            That was the only time the two directly addressed each other throughout the meal. The rest of the time they talked through Eddie. Both vied for his attention, Shannon telling him her day and Buck asking questions about dinner. They all finished soon enough, plates empty save the juices from their steaks.

            Buck picks his up his plate at the same time Eddie does, their fingers brushing over each other. Eddie watches Buck pull back, bottom lip tucked under his teeth. He glances up at Eddie, a shy smile on his face; a flicker of the real Buck he knew was there all along. “You sure?” he asks.

            “Of course,” he says, “You’re our guest.”

            It looks like he might want to protest, but Christopher tugs him back into the living room. He wants to finish watching the movie before bedtime, and Buck follows eagerly.

            “He’s really good with Christopher,” Shannon says from behind, startling him. The silverware clatters together noisily, thankfully not falling to the floor. He brings them over to the sink alongside his wife.

            “Buck treats Christopher like he was his own kid,” Eddie says, “It’s nice seeing them together.”

            Shannon hums and says nothing more. They quietly collect the plates, wrapping leftovers and placing them in the fridge. She washes a dish and hands it over to dry and starts, “I think it’s funny…”

            “What?”

            “No, I shouldn’t…”

            “Shannon…”

            She sighs, placing the next dish back into the sink. “Well, I was going to say that you haven’t been here too long, but it seems Buck really ingratiated himself into yours and Christopher’s lives,” she says, shrugging, “it’s weird given how… distant you try to keep people.”

            Eddie frowns. “He’s family, like all the other members of the Station.”

            “You’ve said something similar in the past, when talking about the soldiers you served with,” she tells him, “But when we were together back then you never really hung out with them like this. Maybe a trip to the bar once or twice a month…”

            “I’m not who I used to be,” he whispers, rubbing a thumb across her wrist, “Coming here was a new start, a chance to be a new man. I’m lucky to have all the people I care for in my life.”

            She smiles, a sad reflection of her usual grin. “He really likes you.”

            “Good?” he says, brow raised, “I like him, too.” Eddie missed something, shot an arrow blind and flew past the target. Shannon stares at him for a beat longer before looking away, pushing form the sink. “Shannon –?”

            “I had a really long day, Eddie,” she says, “Gonna go to bed early.” Shannon leans over and hugs him, kissing him on the cheek. “Love you.” Leaving him, she heads over to do the same for Christopher and wish Buck a good night.

            He doesn’t watch her trek back to their room. His mind stays on their conversation, replaying it to see what he missed. Eddie has no clue what’s been going on – not since Bobby laid a hand on his shoulder in the early hours of dawn. All he senses is that something swells behind a very weak wall, and with enough pressure the barrier will crumble. And he’s not sure whether he’ll drown under its weight or rise above and survive.

            Eddie pushes it all down. Christopher is calling for him, asking to watch one more movie since it’s a Friday night. He can’t sit and study what’s happening inside. Eddie needs to be present for his son, his wife, and his… _Buck_.

            He’s sure that whatever happens in the future, it won’t be that difficult to handle.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Let me know by dropping a kudos/comment below!


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